Today feels like a good day to begin writing in this space. I don’t think I have anything in particular to say except, today, as everyday, Gabriel and Elijah Robinson, YOU are in my heart, my mind, my soul, every hour of every day of my life. I love you two boys more than words could ever say.
From the day you each were born and including when I moved to California from Missouri specifically to care for you, to ensure your safety, to guarantee there would never be a reason for you to doubt YOUR importance, or whether YOU were FIRST in the mind or heart of anyone….and, through the pain of having you SNATCHED from my life and your father’s without warning or reason and, even today….the range of emotions from joy to suffering have been, and are, incomprehensible.
I’ve hesitated beginning this process publicly because as great as my love is for you, as great as my wish to express what your meaning is to us, your father and I, and as great as my pain, our pain, because we, I nor your father, can do neither, I do not want to share sad feelings or leave sad memories. And, so, without knowing what’s to come, this, today, is the beginning of the process of sharing what I hope you will one day have the chance to read.